Electronic home of The Enabler...

Well, it's happened.  Apparently the "psycho-killer-mutant-zombie-viruses" (affectionately known as Twitter and Facebook) have reduced my blogging to a pale shadow of what it once was, and it wasn't even that prolific to begin with!  I have succumbed to the ease of the occasional tweet (which I still feel should be called twits... after the majority of the folks that inspire the posts in the first place,) as well as the lure of the quick Facebook status update.  It's far easier to log on to Facebook and throw a cow at my friends (thank the gods for Superpoke!) than it is to come here and actually think of something meaningful to say.  All of that aside, here is my quick and dirty (yeah, I said it... you know you LOVE it,) version of Thanksgiving 2008.

Readers of this blog (all two and a half of you) will remember my classic holiday cooking tales from bygone days (no, he's not going to link them again is he?  Oh crap, he is... here and here.)  Well, this past Thanksgiving brought a watered-down dose of my usual lunacy, but hey, it is what it is.  I was initially told that I was cooking for 20 people.  While that doesn't really sound all that daunting, let me add that the kitchen in which all of these holiday miracles get pulled off in is not all that large.  Additionally, the oven itself is a rather tiny unit, and once a turkey is in play there is hardly any room to get your hands in to take the darned thing back out again.  Trying to cook enough for 20 folks in that limited space would have been interesting.  I say "would have," because when I arrived in the wee hours of the morning to start things off, I was informed by my mother that the listing was now down to 15, as some folks had cancelled.  Prior to that morning I was aware of one and only one possible cancellation.  That would be my charming sister (Hi Lisa... as you're probably the "half" out of the "two and a half" folks that come here!)  She has a state job that finds her working the majority of the Holidays, so her presence at dinner was always in flux.    As to the other folks that bailed...this is where I found myself in a "have your cake and eat it too" situation.  While some of the folks that had cancelled were part of "the ingrates" (see historical posts... I know, there I go again.) The fact that enough prep work was done to ensure that there would be more than enough for everyone (outside of that miracle turkey stretch that I was expected to pull off) and having them cancel last minute without good reason was rather irritating.  As the morning went on, I was faced with repeated "gas attacks" from my mother (face it lady, something evil was going on inside your colon, and I was collateral damage.)  Then, when folks started to arrive, it became evident that a few more folks had simply decided to not show up.  While general excuse-making was done, there really was no good reason to cancel out that late.  While I am indeed happy that I didn't have to deal with a handful of folks, the timing of their decisions was, at best, suspect, and, at worst, downright rude.  I realize it looks like I'm never satisfied, and that I'm now complaining about the fact that the folks I can't stand WEREN'T THERE this year, but dear reader, look closer.   Historically you'll see that I complain about these folks because they take advantage of the services that my mother used to provide, and that I now provide on her behalf.  These are folks that more often than not never lift a finger to help out, and never give a genuine "thank-you" when things are done.  While not seeing them is nice, the fact that they didn't have the common decency to let us know ahead of time that they weren't coming once again lets their "me, me, me" mindset shine through.

Yes, I know, it's been forever since I posted.  My apologies to all two or three of you that read this from time to time.  I got caught up in other people's busy lives and have been unable to find real "writing" time for awhile now.  As we head into fall, this will either alleviate (the ones that have deserved most of my time are either going off to school, or are actually moving to the other side of the country,) or get worse (my voice demos just got published, and I'm hoping to start recording auditions like a madman to see if I can actually get any real work out of this!)

Speaking of my voice demos... while the physical CDs have not arrived yet, my Voice Acting demo clips have been posted to one of my two professional subscribed sites.    Anyone interested in hearing me sound... well, like me, head on over to site one.  As always, I welcome your feedback, good or bad.  (The only true bad feedback is NO feedback.)

First, let me start by apologizing to folks who wished to comment on some of my posts.  I've been leaving the default of "vox friends and family"  on, so it was disallowing visitors and non-vox folks from leaving comments.  That may or may not be fixed from here on end, as I have made a mental note to change that setting to "everyone"   In fact, i'm going to go back to the previous 5 or so posts and make that change there as well.  Time will tell.

Well, my "vacation" is over, and I am unfortunately back in the office this week.  I put quotes around the word "vacation" because I only took the time off from work for two reasons: 1.  I get four weeks a year of earned time, and I had only used 3 days of that so far this year.  2.  I had to go to Schenectady, NY, to record my voice-over demo on Thursday.    To be more correct, I went up there Wednesday night (after having first diven to Boston and back in order to pick someone special up at the airport) and stayed the night at the Holiday Inn.  I decided to go a day early as my studio time was scheduled for noon to 2pm, which meant that I either had to stay over the previous night, or get up early and then try to "perform" after a three and a half hour drive.  As a rested, fully hydrated voice is preferred... overnight was my only real option. 

So what is a voice-over demo you may ask?  Well, it's basically an "audible resume,"  It is a quick set of clips that are engineered and produced professionally for you so that your prospective client(s) can get a feel for what voice(s) you can do, what emotions / personalities / quirks you can represent, etc.  As for my own personal time, I believe it went well.  I was working with two guys (strangely enough, both named Chris) and both of them were quite happy with what I did.  I believe their biggest happiness came in the fact that I took direction very well.  It seems that most "new talent" (that's what it's called... no ego here...I am now officially "talent!") have a tendancy to put their own spin on the copy they are reciting.  While it's true you need to start somewhere, once the director / producer / client / whomever is making the decisions asks you to do something different, as a trained professional, you should do exactly that.  My producers stated that new folks (n00bs to all you pwners out there...) seem to ignore their instructions and instead try to "merge" their initial delivery with whatever the requested changes are.  Over time, that will only frustrate the decision-makers as well as waste valuable studio time.  Remember, no matter how YOU feel about the copy, it's the other professionals in the room (aforementioned group in addition to copywriters) that have their own idea how they want it to sound.  They're paying the bills, and they're highly trained folks that wouldn't waste time by asking you to do things that they don't want.  Apparently, I know enough to abandon any of my own ideas about the copy, and immerse myself in whatever they are asking for.  Anyway, I spent just under two hours in the studio going over various pieces of copy using various voices and attitudes.  They played back the rough edited copies for me when they were happy with each piece, and I found myself quite entertained.  They are going to continue to cut / polish / add background music and sounds and I should have the final product in about 5 weeks.   Once those file(s) are in hand I will be creating my professional website (link here will be provided of course) and soliciting small, localized jobs.  With luck (and a lot of marketing sweat) I hope it becomes more than a "hobby." 

Wow, it's been a month since I've posted... not cool.  Well, truth be told, I have posted a few items, just not here.  Yes, there are other places I frequent, but this is my first blog... my original home... and I always return here.  All that now said, let's press on to today's topic.

Some of you may be aware that I have been dabbling in the world of voice-over.  I've read a few source books, i've taken an online course or two, and now I'm scheduled to go to a studio in mid-state New York to record my official demo.  I've purchased a professional-grade microphone for home use, so I can start to submit a few samples to some of the online-pitched jobs that are out there.   Sure it might not become my next career, but it should be fun, and might bring in a dollar or two along the way.

At the ripe old age of 40, I have finally purchased my first air conditioner(s.)   While it's true I have had this luxury in my last four vehicles, I never did anything above a set of fans for my home.  Those of you in warmer climates may think we New Englander's wouldn't suffer in the summer, but you forget the famous New England humidity.   It's like leaving your house and jumping into a hot tub for the day... all day...no matter *where* you are... but I digress.  Couple our recent heat/humidity wave with the bulging/herniated disk in my neck... and you have a recipie for a lousy night's sleep.   While I'm usually good for four, (maybe four and a half,) hours a night... last night was a miserable example in futility.  As tonight is supposed to be more of the same, I decided to get a couple of small units (tee hee hee, I said unit!) for the upstairs bedrooms, and two larger units ( okay, you've had your fun, move along...) to cool the downstairs areas.  After going to four different stores in two different towns, I finally got two bedroom-sized devices (there, now I've gone and spoiled everything, I hope you're happy) but the downstairs ones will have to be ordered online, as nobody had any of the larger energy-star ones I wanted in stock.  After fighting upstairs with one of the two, I finally got it installed and turned on.   Right now my bedroom is currently being "conditioned" down to 70 degrees via "energy-saving" mode.  Perhaps tonight my usual 4 (and possibly a half) hours will be returned to me!  Come Morpheus!  Let's hang out!

So, the latest phase of my mid-life crisis has hit, and it's big.  Between the politics at work, and the fact that I can no longer tolerate my manager's immediate boss (who attempts to micro-manage my entire group every second of every day) I don't think I want to stay where I am anymore.  Heck, I don't even think I want to stay in the industry!  For the past 12 years or so, I have been in the IT field in some capacity or another.  I started out doing helpdesk support, and rapidly moved on through the desktop realm and into server/network administration.  While I enjoyed solving those problems, my latest leap (in July of 2007) has left me cold.  It started out nice, but in December we had a re-org that I have not fully recovered from.  Couple that with the failures in my personal life, and I need change... I need big change, and I need it yesterday.  Seeing as how I've been pigeonholed in my career for the past decade, I don't fit the bill for any non-IT positions of a lucrative nature.  I've already resigned myself to the "money didn't buy happiness" realm, and I'm ready to take a good-sized cut wherever I end up.  I recently connected with a few high-school buddies via Facebook, and one of them gave me some information on an opportunity... but it's direct buying marketing of a sort... and I can't be a "salesman" unless I'm making the product, or if I "am" the product (more on that in a bit... and don't get smug, I'm not about to live the life of a craigslist escort!)  I think I want to try my hand in the service industry at some level.  There's no way I could wait tables (my eidetic memory works in mysterious ways... I don't memorize lists that quickly, but I can whistle the theme song to any cartoon I've seen since I was six...) but I could be a host... or an assistant manager... or a short order cook.   All of the cooks I know are telling me not to even think about it, because the job is horrible, but I think I need the exact opposite of what I have now.  Sitting around in what appears to be air-conditioned comfort, but silently suffering and being absolutely miserable isn't where I want to be.  I'd love to be a chocolatier (or even an assistant candy maker in some semi-popular local shop.)  I'm also in the middle of training with VoiceCoaches.com.  While I can't necessarily be the "guy next door" voice for advertising... I can do a darned good narrative.  I do a lot of crazy voices, celebrity impressions, and I can do a dead-on Don LaFontaine (but so can a lot of people in the business!)   I don't know where it will lead me, but I've made the effort, and I'm going to find out.  Hmm... perhaps I should re-title this blog... "Mis-adventures of a failure at 40" has a nice ring to it.

Does anybody actually read this pitiful excuse for a blog?  One can hope.   For those who enjoy quirky, intellectual, non-standard humor... I have two tickets to see this man next Monday the 28th of April ( The opening night of his US comedy tour ) in Boston, MA.  Being the hopeless romantic I am... I held off asking someone out of the cowardly fear of rejection.  Of course, as I have waited until the last minute, the one that holds my heart in thrall is unable to go.  While I still want to go ( I'm a big fan of the aforementioned performer's style ) I also don't want someone to go with me out of pity, nor do I wish to eat the cost of the two tickets if any of my friends would like to go with another person of their choice.  *sighs*  As much as I'd love karma to step in and treat me in the fashion that I treat everyone else around me who needs something... I won't hold my breath this time around.

The more time I spend at my local watering hole, the more I become disheartened by the "young men" of today.  No, I'm not suddenly becoming my parents: "their music's too loud... they don't talk properly...they have no respect for anyone else... look at all those tattoos, etc."  Heck, I'm guilty of two out of four of those things myself!  (Feel free to guess which ones, no points taken off for wrong answers.)  After speaking with many an intelligent young lady, I am now in a position to understand what makes beautiful, vibrant, energetic young women attracted to older men.  Throughout my years I have witnessed it countless times, but my friends and I would usually chalk it up to the stereotypical theories (and forgive me if some of them seem low-brow, but I was once young myself!)  First, there's always the thought that the guy is financially well-off.  While this is true on occasion, the sheer number of intelligent ladies that bind themselves to sub-poverty mates puts this item in the exception column, not the general rule column.  Second, the inferrence that there were/are "daddy issues" in the young ladies life.  While again I will admit that this is sometimes true, it doesn't appear to be a deciding factor in the lives of those with whom I speak.  Third, the man is in a "position of power," e.g. either an officer of some large company, or owning his own business, or involved with medium-level local politics.  Again, I say exception, not the rule.  Forth, and I'll stop the list here because I can already hear some of you snoring, is the tried and true "he's taller on his back / built like a tripod / hung like a bear!"  While I cannot say first hand what this means to the young ladies of today (stop your giggling, this is a semi-serious post!) I can say that the myriad of "marital aids" and the ease with which they are procured (heck they have more home-parties for these things than Tupperware* these days!)   seems to lower the odds on this one too.  None of these items appears to be the root cause of the young woman - older man scene.  What DOES appear to be causing this... listening... simple listening, or more correctly, a lack thereof.

What I have observed is this:  Today's young males (I am a bit hesitant to call them men, you'll see why in a bit,) are far too caught up in their own sub-culture to truly connect with today's young ladies.   All too often I have seen a "pack of young wolves" saunter in to the bar and scan for "new flesh."  They always travel in groups, not because they're afraid to be seen alone, but because when they DO make contact with a member of the opposite sex, they want their buddies to SEE it happening.  It's all about keeping score, and not about making a connection at all.   While this beginning phase seems innocent enough, albeit a bit neaderthal, it doesn't evolve enough during the "dating" phase.  Todays young males are far too worried about their status within their pack / posse / crew what-have-you to be of any true benefit to today's young ladies.  They spend way too much time trying to be someone's "bro" and not nearly enough time trying to be someone's "man."   While most folks don't know for certain that the person they are "dating" is "the one" for them (and for those of you out there that DO know this, congratulations!) they should realize that unless the effort is made, and unless time and attention are invested, it won't go well.  My advice for those finding themselves fitting the above criteria:  If you're just in it for the sex and fun times, be honest about that up front.  If you find someone who is like-minded, then good for you.  If, however, you are even slightly concerned about having a family, or having someone to eat breakfast with every day, or not having to sleep alone the rest of your days, then start listening.   Even if the conversation rambles a bit, or doesn't relate to anything in your life what-so-ever, what you will get out of each and every conversation is a little more insight into the inner workings of the mind of the object of your affection.  Before long, and without even realizing it, you will find that you will feel WITH her when she relates to you how frustrated she was with the "dickhole" that cut her off in traffic today, or how "betrayed" she feels by her best friend because she invited someone else to the concert instead of her, or how "ignored' she is by the folks she works with because even though small changes are being made day by day,  today's professional business world STILL caters to men.  Seriously... if you WANT someone in your life, and not simply in your bed, then talk WITH her, not at her.  LISTEN to her, don't just nod and grunt.  Okay... I've rambled far, far, FAR more than I should have.  If anyone is still with me after all that diatribe, then you've earned yourself 100 Enabler points, good absolutely nowhere what so ever! 

*Tupperware is copyright  © Tupperware worldwide, and is not affiliated in any way, shape, or form with this blog or it's writer.

Ever felt bad throwing away an old pair of shoes?  Ever felt bad throwing out a shoe you only seemed to have one of?  *sighs*  After 6 years driving the "2001 big sneaker on wheels" (not including the two years I spent driving it's predecesor, the 1999 model!) it is finally time to part ways.  While it's still running strong at 176,000 miles, the current gas crunch coupled with the fact that my house JUST ISN'T SELLING DARNIT forces my hand into getting something with improved gas mileage.  While 27mpg doesn't sound like a lot to most folks, compared to the 17.5 I get now it's a heck of an improvement.  And just what has won me over you ask?  Well, seeing as how I'm still a cheap-assed penny-pincher, and knowing that I insist on either an AWD or 4WD configuration... I have settled on the Jeep Patriot.  Sure it's not as luxurious as the CR-V or RAV-4, but it's quite a bit cheaper than either, and comes with an unlimited powertrain warranty.

Wow, it's been over a month since I posted.  Apparently, I am quite the slacker.  I even missed my obligatory "best day of the year" post yesterday.  What... you don't know why yesterday was the best day of the year?  Well, if you simply MUST know, yesterday was "March 4th" the only day of the year that is a complete sentence when spoken aloud!  I realize it's not much, but with my grammatically-based OCD, it's a hoot I tell you!